Big Dan's Ramblings

Ramblings from a Boston Boy stuck in New York

Cussing With Kids

Big Dan's RamblingsThis post is most definitely rated PG-13 for language. You were warned…

I have never been a huge user of cuss words, but I don’t exactly shy away from them either. Words like “shit” and “damn” are pretty regular occurrences in my daily vernacular. I am, however, conscious of where I use such phrases. A public setting where kids are present is a big no-no. Work is a place I usually avoid using them as well. I was taught to respect others in my environment and that’s what I tend to do. I’ll drop a cuss (even f-bombs) on occasions, but only very rarely in public and never ever in front of kids. My house, however, was essentially my sanctuary. I could get away with saying just about anything there and I did. It wasn’t uncommon for my wife or I to drop a ‘shit’ here, a ‘damn’ there, or even the occasional f-bomb.

That all changed when the kids showed up.

Cussing with Kids

When only swearing will do

Well, maybe not right when the kids showed up. When we were first getting into the swing of being a parent, we’d talk about shitty diapers and those damn car seats that are such a pain in the ass to move. And I’m sure that an occasional “I’m so fucking tired” rolled off our exhausted tongues during those first few months where we received virtually no sleep. But, all was well. We kept it clean in front of the kids for the most part but the occasional cuss would slip out.

Over the last few weeks that occasional slip has started to be a problem. The kids just turned one year old and are starting to mimic us – both physically and verbally. We’re getting a lot of ‘dadadada’ and ‘mamamama’ right now, but other words are slowly starting to evolve. Ideally, that occasional ‘shit’ or ‘damn’ and the even more rare ‘fuck’ best be tempered down to ‘shoot’ or ‘darn’ or ‘freak.’ Better yet, we should hold our tongue in general so as to not teach the kiddies bad habits.

But, at the end of the day, one needs to ask themselves why they feel the need to shelter their kids from these words. After all, that’s all they are…words. Sounds that roll out of our mouths due to the odd combination of how your tongue and cheeks interact. I suppose it’s the intent of the words that really needs to be taught.

So, will I cuss around my kids? To be perfectly honest – probably. Actually, yes. I’ll try to bite my tongue and teach them that it’s not socially polite to do so, but I’m sure the first time they hear shit, damn, hell, and fuck won’t be on the playground. You have the right to consider that bad parenting or not – it’s your opinion. And I have the right to tell you to go to hell with your shitty opinion if I don’t agree with it 😉

3 responses to “Cussing With Kids

  1. blackwatertown 13-August-2010 at 8:16 am

    I realised I swore a lot at work, but never at home. Mainly because of the children. However, ten years in, the swearing is beginning to creep back in. Maybe it’s because I know that they are now able to consider critically whatever comes out of my mouth, and no longer accept it as Gospel.

    • Sam 13-August-2010 at 2:17 pm

      As a Long Islander words like fuck, shit, douchebag, and the like are engrained in my vocabulary. Most of these words I learned on the playground. I didn’t start using them in my house until I was much older and used them with humor. My former VP would drop f-bombs on the phone and in meetings (she’s from Jersey) and to me – even though I use those words myself in other situations – it sounded low class and immature. My advice – curb it at home. Let the girls learn the words on their own, then you teach them when to use and not use them.

  2. stewgotz79 13-August-2010 at 3:51 pm

    I’m equally as guilty when it comes to letting a few slip. As you said, I think the intent means more than just the word itself. I try to watch it, but I know my kids, have heard them from me and others. I just try to make sure they understand that sometimes “grown-ups’ say these things and that it’s not right for them to use them. As far as I know, so far, so good.

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